Frequently Asked Questions
Background
Who are you?
Lore (they/them), Scott (he/him), and Bridget (she/her)! We’re a polyamorous Vee-triad living in Chicago!
What’s happening?
We’re getting married!
Wait, really?
Really really!
Aren’t you already married?
Lore and Scott have been legally married for almost 18 years. Lore and Bridget have been dating for five years and will be getting married this May.
Does this mean Lore and Scott are getting divorced?
Nope!
So Lore and Bridget will be…?
In a committed, long-term, cohabitating, merged-finances, possible-future-child-rearing, partnership.
Is this marriage legal?
Nope!
So why are you calling it a marriage?
Because saying “committed, long-term, cohabitating, finances-merging, possible future child-rearing, partnership” is a MOUTHFUL and people get bored easily, so “married” is a useful shorthand.
Are all three of you “marrying” each other?
Nope! Scott and Bridget are close friends and enjoy each other’s company— their shared interests include Formula 1 racing, Markiplier Let’s Play videos, and trolling Lore with bad puns— but they do not have a romantic or sexual relationship. HOWEVER, we’re all working to build a life together, so even without romantic and sexual ties, we’re going to be spending the rest of our lives smelling each other’s farts. You have to at least LIKE the other person to sign up for something like that.
Aren’t you, like, breaking the law or something?
In some US states the law considers you to be engaging in Bigamy even if you’re “unlawfully cohabitating” or otherwise “carrying on as married.” They also take common law marriages into account when determining criminal liability. Illinois is, blessedly, not one of those states; while Bigamy is illegal and multiple partnerships between consenting adults aren’t endorsed, there is no state law against cohabitation and common law marriages are not recognized. So, no, the three of us living together and buying groceries and sharing a Netflix account is not illegal.
Also it should be noted: Bridget is a trans woman, which means it’s functionally illegal for her to exist in public in many parts of the United States. Legality is a political question, not a moral one.
But you’re not JUST watching Netflix together, if you know what I mean…
Correct. Lore has romantic and sexual relationships with both Scott and Bridget, as well as other people who don’t live at Castle Gayskull (our cute nickname for the condo we occupy). Bridget has romantic and sexual relationships with people other than Lore. Currently, the government only cares about that if we’re using this arrangement as a vehicle for OTHER illegal activities related to tax fraud, immigration status, or child support liability; otherwise, it’s none of their business.
Are you all changing your names?
Probably not. Lore and Scott are happy with the names they have now. Bridget also spent two years getting her name legally changed and would REALLY prefer not to go through that again.
Why put yourselves through all this hassle if you’re not even getting those sweet, sweet tax breaks?
Because we love each other and we’re ready to stand up and make solemn vows to that effect in front of our family and our patron deities. And also eat tacos and dance to ‘Heaven Is A Place On Earth.’ Plus, wouldn’t Bridget look super cute in a wedding dress?
Event Details
Where and when is this happening?
The wedding is set for Friday, May 10th, 2024. The ceremony will start at 6pm, with the reception following around 7:30pm and running until about 11pm.
The wedding will be held at Colvin House— 5940 N. Sheridan Rd., Chicago IL 60660. Both the ceremony and the reception will be held— weather permitting— in the outside courtyard. If we do end up with bad weather, we’ll move everything into the first floor of the house.
How do I get there? Will there be parking?
There will be parking available for guests at George B. Swift Specialty School, 5900 N. Winthrop (less than two blocks west of the venue). Parking is free but limited. Please let us know if you will need parking so we can reserve a spot for you.
If the Swift School lot is full but you still need parking, Malibu Condominiums (6007 N. Sheridan) offers $20 valet parking for Colvin House event guests.
For those taking public transit: there are several bus routes that stop outside the venue on Sheridan Rd., and it’s about a 5min walk from the Thorndale stop on the Red Line.
We’ll have ample space to safely store bikes, if that’s more your speed.
I’m coming in from out of town— do you have accommodations available?
Unfortunately no, we were unable to secure a hotel room block for the event. If you need support with overnight accommodations, please contact us.
Is the venue accessible?
The outside courtyard, where we plan to hold the ceremony and reception, are at ground level and accessible from the side entrance on Thorndale. The front entrance for the house has a flight of stone stairs, but the side entrance has a half-flight of steps as well as a wheelchair lift. The main floor of the house has ADA-compliant bathrooms.
Tell me about your COVID precautions
We are asking all guests be fully vaccinated and boosted, and to take a rapid COVID test within 24 hours and provide proof of a negative result before arriving at the venue. We will have a LIMITED number of tests for guests who need it, but we will not be able to accommodate everyone. We’re planning for the bulk of the event to be held outside, but in the event of bad weather necessitating a move inside, masks will be required. We’ll also have a HEPA air purifier going in the main room.
Can I bring children?
Yes! With a couple caveats. We won’t count kids as your Plus-One, unless you specify that they’re taking that slot. We’re also bumping up against the maximum capacity for the venue, so we have to set a limit of two children per invitation and a maximum total of twelve. Please reach out to us if you plan on bringing kids so we can make appropriate arrangements.
Is there a theme or vibe for the wedding? How about a dress code?
The vibe is a bit eclectic, but broadly speaking it’s giving cottagecore, faerie revel in the woods, and Bilbo Baggins’ 111th birthday party.
No dress code— wear whatever’s comfortable! If you want to complement the theme, aim for something that you’d wear to a renaissance faire or, failing that, a craft night with your besties.
Tell me about the ceremony!
The ceremony will be a pagan handfasting. Our officiant will be Chris Sherbak, senior druid for Wild Onion Grove, ADF.
The ceremony will feature three main components. First, Lore and Scott will renew their vows to each other. Then, Lore and Bridget will make new vows to one another. Finally, all three members of the triad will exchange Norse arm bracelets and swear oaths to each other as they found a new household.
How about the reception? Can we state a seating preference? What kind of food and drink can we expect?
We’re having a cocktail reception— no assigned seating! Sit wherever feels comfortable and feel free to move around and mingle.
Dinner will be catered by Antique Taco, featuring three kinds of tacos (one vegetarian/vegan, depending on if you want cheese) as well as chips, salsa, and guac. Dessert will be a cookie-and-ice-cream-sundae bar catered by Cookie Spin. We’ll also have an open bar!
Will there be anything to do besides mingle?
Yes! Obviously we’ll have dancing, set to a Spotify playlist we’re currently working on.
We’ll also be joined by local poet and performer Kay Kro, setting up shop as The Traveling Typist. They’ll be on hand to composing intimate, bespoke poems based on your prompts, typed up on a vintage typeriter, and sent home with you as a keepsake.
It sounds like there’s going to be a lot of people and a lot of stuff happening. What if I get overwhelmed?
We will have dedicated spaces away from the action for adults and children who experience sensory overload or who just need a moment of quiet.
Can I take photos at your wedding? Can I post photos on social media?
Yes, please take lots of photos!
You’re good to post on social media, with some caveats. If you’re taking a pic of an adult guest with the intent to post on social media, please ask the guest for consent before you do so. Do not post pictures of children with their faces visible on social media. For photos of the wedding celebrants— Lore, Scott, and Bridget— we ask that you not post them on social media until the next day and, where possible, to not make publicly-viewable posts.